Accountability

I have determined I need some accountability in my life - specifically, to the 'masses.' Although I am back down to my wedding weight, after having gained ten pounds during the holiday season in 2009, ideally I would like to lose another 12 or so pounds. While I would like to think that this should be an easy place where Trip can be supportive, let's face it, female weight issues/concerns/goals and men just do not mix. And anyone who knows my husband knows that this is a topic of conversation that is just best to be avoided. Don't get me wrong, he does his absolute best to be supportive and is quite irritated that there is "nothing" he feels he can do to support me in a way to which I am receptive. The problem is that weight/fitness etc. are topics near and dear to my husband's heart. He was very involved in swimming in high school, and has recently been participating in local triathlons. So he wants to know every detail of my progress, and, well, that doesn't really work too well for me. The frustration he expresses about my poor choices, whether fitness or food related, feel like things are not okay as they stand. I just don't tolerate that well. All of that to say, Trip can't really be my place of accountability. So I'm turning to cyberspace. I know my girlfriends who follow my blog will be supportive, and hopefully this will mean I have a better chance of staying accountable to myself as well.
Let me also give this caveat - I have struggled for a long time about my weight, and in socially bizarre ways. In early college I was a good 23 or so pounds lighter than where I am today. It was too light, I am aware of that, and as I gained weight, I knew that I still looked good overall so I didn't feel like I was allowed to be frustrated. I am also, let's face it, fitness challenged. I hate the gym, I hate working out, and I am just plain lazy. Then I went into a field where I listen to other people's schtuff all day long, and that can just be exhausting! But I digress. So for many years I was in a weird place of not being thrilled with my body shape, but not feeling like it was 'bad enough' to care. Isn't that awful? So what changed you ask? Well, I was tired of being nagged about my lack of exercise so I started to go to the gym, and I realized how out of shape I was. I mean, I just couldn't maintain much of anything for any length of time. It was pathetic. So I've been slowly working on increasing my fitness level, which brings me in my roundabout way to goal No. 2.

I am going to finish this danged Couch25k program if it kills me! It is so pathetic to look at my last post (7 months ago!!) to see I was on week four. Let's take a moment now to pause and reread that..."I was on WEEK four." That's right, of a nine week programs. So, theoretically, somewhere end of August/early September I was supposed to be done. And where am I today you might ask?? Week Seven. Ouch. BUT, in good news, I have maintained at week 7 through the holidays. This included many weeks of not going to the gym, or only going once a week. To be able to get back in the gym and jog for 25 minutes straight feels like something of a miracle. So I made a commitment to myself that I am finishing this danged program and running a 5k this spring. I would love to have a running partner for the race, so if anyone is interested, let me know!

In support of this goal (or rather, overall fitness goals) Trip got me a gift card for running shoes. I got fitted today, which was quite the experience!! And my in-laws contributed to the cause, which I ended up not needing for shoes, so put towards a heart rate monitor on Amazon.

So I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I hope to be more accountable on my blog about what is actually going on with my progress. We shall see. I'm still exhausted most days when I get home. But it all starts Wednesday....I can't give up the choral society after all!